I have never considered suicide. I have been pretty depressed, on drugs for it a couple times, but in my deepest darkness it has never popped into my head...I could just die. I think most people do at some point, but not me, not so far. I am surprised by this. I'm not really a bright and chipper kind of person. Emo suits me. On my good days I'm a melancholy fairy, but that's as sunny as it gets. And yet, I've absolutely never thought about ending it. Guess I had a pretty happy childhood or something. Now, running away from home, THAT's my bag. Ditching the responsibility, the traps I've made for myself, whatever is boring me, and re-inventing it all under a pseudonym, that I could do. That I sort of have done, a few times. I overcommit, can't juggle, get martyr-ie, and bail. Won't you all be sorry when I'm not around anymore? Ha. And where nobody knows me, they'll have to like me for me, not out of obligation, they won't take me for granted. It's a happy prospect. "One day I'll fly away, leave all this to yesterday …“

World Cup

Got up early this morning to make special pancakes and turkey bacon so we could all watch the US world cup match! Coached the 3yr old to cheer GOOOOOOAL! US is the favorite, it's bound to be fun, family time. But dad didn't wake up. (he's working nights) Cannot believe it, he's watched every AM game so far. So, ok, I'll leave the griddle on, he can pour his pancakes when he does. Tell the kid, be as loud as you want, he's sure to wake up soon, and when the BLUE team gets a goal, we can yell "GOOOOAAAAAL" super-loud to wake daddy up. That will be so fun, let's practice YELLING!! Slovenia scores. I am sad. Kid is uninterested. Tell her to be a little quieter, dad doesn't want to see that. Soon, girl, we will score and we can YELLLLL to wake dad up. Slovenia scores again. Yikes! Turn the volume down. Tell kid SHHHH! Be quiet. DON'T WAKE your father. NO, I mean it. We do NOT want him to wake up till this is over. Let's read a little quiet story. In fact, maybe we'll go to the store, get out of the house. Wait, there it is... gooooal! We got one. Shh. Yes, it's good. Stay quiet though.

Sal-Army 2

DH got me a dehydrator for x-mas (relax, I liked it) and now I am ready to take the next earth-mama step. Look out, dried meat! I found the WHOLE kit for $2.99 at Sal-Army! Really, I'm not so wholesome, I'm just cheap, and jerky is wicked expensivo. And yummy, and pretty healthy, right?

Sal-Army finds

Isn't this a cute top?! I am totally into dressing R in clothes that I would have worn in 1982. Piping on the petal-shaped peter-pan collar, and she says it has "Party bubbles" on it!

Farm Girl Street Cred

So I slipped a little as the girl who was raised on a farm. My suburban DH didn't know what to do either. In my defense, I was never an Adult on a farm, so who to call when there's a dead deer in your yard was not something I ever worried about.

• DH called the town hall, and they said "Oh, well, that's not really our problem. Call County Highway." who said..
• "Oh, well, that road is not really our problem, you need State Highway." who of course said...
• "Oh. Well, we don't do that. Unless it's on the road. And no, putting it back on the road would be illegal." So we called Grandpa, who said
• "Oh, well, you need the GAME department." Which apparently NY doesn't have. Just 'Enviromental Conservation'

So wandering around the internet, I noticed that if you live in New York City, and you have a dead animal in the road, you can e-mail a form to your sanitation department. So, we've got a garbage company! So we call them and...

• "Oh, umm, hang on...Yup we sure can do that. It's a $5 charge though."

I told DH to tape a $20 to that stinky, rotting carcass for the poor schmuck that's gonna pick it up. Street cred lost, but I can use the dang internets.